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  Theology of Hope and Healing From A Bisexual Transman with Depression and Anxiety Introduction There’s a questionnaire that I answer often. It’s called a safety plan. The full gist of this questionnaire is that it will be used in case I have suicidal ideations or express suicidal behavior. There are two questions that stunt my progress. “Why do you value your life?” and “what brings you hope?”. I don’t know. I’m discerning if I’m looking for a theology of hope or a theology of healing. Formed in the Presbyterian tradition the answers are easy. I have hope in the resurrection and the life ever after. I value my life because God, creator, father, beginner knitted me in my mother’s womb and knew me by name. Fairly rehearsed. There’s something missing, a bridge from theology on paper to my lived experiences. My first quiz in Seminary was to rehearse John Calvin’s definition of faith which included the words “a firm and certain knowledge…both revealed to our minds and sealed upon our ...
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Chasing Dopamine?

The temperature dropped a tiny bit today, but it was still super humid. I know this because my joints creaked a tiny bit extra when I stepped wrong. So of course, me being me, I rewatched the video from the last post.




Here's the thing. I know certain foods are better than others. I've read the data, I see the vitamins and minerals listed like a good kid. But turmeric? I have never been able to incorporate it as a food item. But why? I love curry. But, I don't eat curry every day.

Cue in my new concoction. Green tea with turmeric tea. Now, it would be easy to add tumeric spice into the tea bag. I haven't done the math yet to see which is cheaper (or tastier). But I have just brew a regular cup of hot water and the two tea bags (one green tea and one turmeric tea).

What is this super concoction supposed to do? Well, taste good. Second, it's supposed to make me feel better because of all the brain chemicals. There's very little data to support that, so it all could be a placebo effect. A very yummy one.

What I’m really chasing is a connection to my indegenous Mexican ancestors who foraged plants for medicine. I am hoping to recover and reclaim some of their liturgical practices. I am hoping that by rejuvenating these practices, I can get closer to God and God’s people. At least that’s the dream.

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