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Cool Trans Essay

  Theology of Hope and Healing From A Bisexual Transman with Depression and Anxiety Introduction There’s a questionnaire that I answer often. It’s called a safety plan. The full gist of this questionnaire is that it will be used in case I have suicidal ideations or express suicidal behavior. There are two questions that stunt my progress. “Why do you value your life?” and “what brings you hope?”. I don’t know. I’m discerning if I’m looking for a theology of hope or a theology of healing. Formed in the Presbyterian tradition the answers are easy. I have hope in the resurrection and the life ever after. I value my life because God, creator, father, beginner knitted me in my mother’s womb and knew me by name. Fairly rehearsed. There’s something missing, a bridge from theology on paper to my lived experiences. My first quiz in Seminary was to rehearse John Calvin’s definition of faith which included the words “a firm and certain knowledge…both revealed to our minds and sealed upon our ...
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Ode to Bat-Shever

You can view this post as a late-night cry into anxiousness. I have a presentation coming up in ten days but decided to finish it up today. It's on the story I hate the most of Judges in the Hebrew Bible. It's not too hard to know that I dislike rape stories in the Bible. I really dislike all the prostitute-shaming stories as well. Creating this poem and presentation is definitely an improvement on my own situation over an event that happened three years ago. I don't think I'll ever forget and that made this project really personal. I'm very much prepared to receive a low grade. It is worth it to stand up for my beliefs. I hope you get to stand up for your beliefs too. Stay safe and be well.

Ode to Bat-Shever

The unnamed woman
Blessed Among All Women
But do women invite male aggression

The woman who was ambitious
The woman who was a man and nimble
The woman who was fierce
The woman who was cunning and killed

The many women who had more rights
Than the other wives

The woman in battle who crushed his skull
The woman willing and compliant
The woman without child with a direct-line to God
Three women, two who caused demise of strength

The woman who made an idol for her son

Are narrators justified in creating moral space
A portrayal of harsh realities to deduct theological
And moral judgements

Unnamed woman
Battered woman treated as property
Body abused and torn apart
Twelve pieces for twelve broken realities
Unified for one governing body

The chaos whose ailment is God
Daughter of broken dreams
Immortalized as a pseudo-foundation myth
For a new world order

I’ll never forget you
Like I’ll never forget
What happened to me.

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