Easter is Here Again. I absolutely adore the Lenten and Easter Season. It’s like a renewal process between the birth of Christ, the pivotal story of Christ’s resurrection, and the birth of the church. The process of renewal to me is very inspiring. Every time things looked tough, I always remembered the story that the phoenix rose from its ashes. Every time life brought me down, I remembered that things can always change.
And they have for me. My last Easter as an atheist, I woke up really early in the morning for no reason. I showered and walked to wait for the bus and it never came by. The buses just don’t run on Easter. I walked all the way back to beg my older sister for a ride to church. I never really thought about why I was going to church that day. But, I felt something different that morning. Sometimes in between depression episodes I get these days where all the stars align. They’re pretty amazing days and I enjoy them to the last drop!
My life has definitely changed since then. Some things remain the same, every Lenten Season I find myself lost. I’m hardly seen at church and I’m mostly preoccupied by a really big project of some sort. Then Easter Sunday comes by, and life fixes itself. I’m back at church and life is great again. Except this time. I didn’t make it to church today.
I feel consumed. I’m so annoyed, frustrated, and a bit amazed that I didn’t make the one last ditch effort to make it. Easter 2019, Christ is Risen! He’s Risen indeed. And where’s Sopphey? Sopphey’s running errands making it easier to be a trusted sales consultant. Sopphey’s rummaging her various market influencer sites making cents clink. Paying bills. Transfering funds. Buying pillows for Mom.
I love God. Every few minutes when a tinge of anxiety hits I pray saying, “I love you God.” When I need a pep talk and I’m at work in the middle of the rat race, I look at potential clients and pray for them. I pray for my dreams. I pray that I will attend a reasonably affordable seminary. I pray that I can build a community center that equips God’s people to live in the world and do His Will.
But, I am still so lost. Man doesn’t live off bread alone, but by the Word and Virtue of being the living body of Christ. I’m stuck eating stale bread at the moment. Everyday burning up a bit more than the last. Dreams become realities once actions take place. My dreams feel like science fiction with a new plot twist every 3 seconds. I know there’s a plan for me. I now there’s a future. But when does that future start? Now? Yes, now.
Step 1. I’m going to write my dreams down. You should too.
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